Still in Abaco and have been living at the house alone for over three weeks now. In this time I have experience and felt the spectrum of emotions. I have dealt with loneliness and found contentment in my own brain and in making CasaMar more comfortable, more like the home I remember from my childhood. My days meld together more and more. My neighbors will attest I am covered in paint 85 percent of the time. Even after I take my nightly shower at five o’clock I still have little specs of the stuff around my anckles, in my hair, under my fingernails. It’s not that I am an incredibly messy painter per say. Its simply because every surface of literally everything needs to be wiped with paint. Island maintenance is unending, but the work is satisfying. More and more I’m learning out of necessity to use tools and solve problems – while the may be small – out of what ever materials are available. I’ve also become pretty handy with a cutlass – which makes me officially armed and dangerous.
It’s been so long since I posted. It’s not for lack of time or lack of love and need for connection with everyone who checks in on me here. It’s simply that I’ve been working hard and playing hard. To be honest the world I listen to on the radio every morning and the one that bombards my googlenews is scary. Filled with unknowns and chaos. My degrees of separation from this world are a privilege. Life here is a word, good. I can’t remember the last time my body and mind felt so healthy and at home. I’m sleeping better and waking with a purpose. All these things assure me and give me confidence that I can jump into that other world at full speed when the time comes. Okay that was a little bit of an abstraction. A product of my solitude and self-contemplation. But I want to assure all of you that living alone in this somewhat secluded surroundings is not driving me crazy. It brings clarity.
I’ll catch you up on all the good in my life in the following posts.
Smiles,
Amanda Mar
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